What A Drag

“I can’t believe I let him talk me into this.”


A mare strolled down the streets of Ponyville. She was a light teal color, with a dark blonde mane, and a nice red dress. She also seemed fairly annoyed about something.


“The things I do for that man...”


She neared the front of a fancy restaurant, a bookish, orange haired stallion standing outside.


“Fashionably late I see. Still, you do look rather fetching.”


The mare simply rolled her eyes.


“Page, you realize if anyone finds out about this, your little secret is going to be out, right?”


The stallion, one Page Turner, simply adjusted his glasses.


“Trust me babe, no one is going to be any the wiser. Frankly, you make a pretty mare.”


The mare in question was Page’s date, a pony by the name of Summer Flower. And also Page’s boyfriend.


“How did you convince me to do this again?”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Four days earlier


“You still haven’t told your parents? For the love of...how much longer can you keep this a secret?”


The two ponies were inside Page’s place of business, a bookstore aptly named “Turn The Page” and the namesake was doing his best to drown Summer out.


“You keep saying ‘I’ll tell them eventually’. Eventually usually implies it will actually happen at some point. And yet, here we are. Still doing this contrived secret relationship nonsense.”


Page stacked a few books on a nearby shelf, simply rolling his eyes.


“Look, I promise I’ll tell my parents sooner or later. Most likely later. Much later.”


Summer let out an annoyed huff, impatiently tapping his hoof on the floor.


“You also promised we’d go out this weekend. On an actual date. Somewhere nice. Not another ‘Bro’s night out’ cover story thing, and a quick romp back here at the store.”


Page remained silent, still stacking the books like Summer wasn’t there. The blue pony sported an odd smirk for some reason.


“Ignoring me, huh? Alright then.”


He made his way to the door, not opening it just yet.


“I suppose if you won’t take me out, I can always find another pony who would.”


Page didn’t turn around, but the book stacking had ceased.


“Who should I go with? Ooh, how about that handsome construction pony? Jack Hammer? Maybe I could see if he lives up to the name in private. Or that pretty boy a few blocks over. Silver Mane, I think?”


It was faint, but one could almost hear Page snarling.


“Or that studly farm pony down the road. I bet he knows how to ‘plow the field’ if you catch my drift.”


Unable to take it anymore, Page dropped the remaining books on the ground. Glaring at Summer, he stormed over to where he stood...and gave him a harmless peck on the cheek.


“I hate that you can push my buttons like that. You know how jealous I get.”


He pawed the floor a little, starting at the  ground.


“You were joking, right? You aren’t gonna dump me for some Ironpony type? Or some fancypants model pony? I can’t really compete with those...”


Summer simply giggled, stepping away from the door.


“You know I prefer my stallions to be stronger in the brain than in the body. Now then, you promise to keep your promise about our date?”


Sighing in defeat, Page nodded.


“Alright. This weekend, I’m taking you out on the town. Promise.”


Returning to his shelving, Page caught sight of the title of a certain book.


“The Art of the Drag Pony? Didn’t know I even...had this...”


Looking from the book, to Summer, and back again,  the wheels in his head started turning.


“Say, Summer. You ever read this book before?”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Present time


“Oh, right. Funny material for a new book my flank.”


Page chuckled, smoothing his hair back a little.


“I believe me saying something about your flank is how I convinced you to do this.”


Summers blue face turned bright red.


“Whatever. Just remember, you owe me big for this.”


He nodded in acknowledgement, opening the door to the restaurant.


“Shall we, madame?”


Rolling his eyes in mild annoyance, Summer strolled inside, Page following close behind.


“This place is pretty pricey, Page. I’m still trying to figure out how you could afford to bring us here.”


Page scoffed in mock shock.


“Why Summer, I’m offended. You act like I can’t afford to treat you every now and then. Even if it is mostly true. Anyway, I had a little extra coin laying around, and it more than covers a night out.  Oh, Page Turner. Reservation for two.”


Following the maitre d to a table, Page pulled Summers seat out, before taking his own.


“Well, here we are. On an actual night out. Don’t say I never did anything for you.”


Summer actually cracked a smile at this.


“Disguise notwithstanding, this is nice. And don’t think I didn’t notice this is where we first met.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Several months ago.


Page strolled about town, face buried in the book floating in front of his face.


“I saw this twist coming a mile away. Written Word is really losing his touch. Has been since the third installment of The Mustang Diaries. Like we’re supposed to believe one Pegasus could beat a dragon...”


Not watching where he was going, he bumped into whoever was standing in his path. It didn’t even slow him down. And neither did the sound of crashing flowerpots.


“Watch where you’re going, foal-brain.”


He got about five steps before a rather miffed voice called after him.


“Hey, Mr. Rude Pony, I’m talking to you.”


Letting out an annoyed sigh, Page closed his book.


“What do...you....want?”


Page was a little distracted when he saw who he was talking to. A rather fit looking teal stallion, with a few flowers in his hair, and a red flower adorning him as a Cutie Mark.


“Don’t you think it’s kind of rude to walk into somepony, knock their flowerpots over, and just go on your way without so much as a sorry? You realize one of those fell on me, right?”


Page was a lot of things. A bookworm. A jerk. A walking fountain of sarcasm. One of the lesser used words to describe him, was unashamed flirt. Even if he was still mostly in the closet.


“Oh, I noticed, studly. Rawr.”


This earned him an extremely confused look from Summer.


“I...what? Look, whatever your deal is, all I’m looking for is a quick sorry.”


Slicking his hair back a little, he threw him another flirty glance.


“Alright, fine. I’m sorry I bumped into you. Now then, what’s a handsome pony like you doing today?”


Shaking his head, he returned to his work.


“If you must know, I was paid to pretty up the outside of this restaurant with a few flowers. Which I was in the process of, before I was so rudely bumped into. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta get back to work.”


Much to his annoyance, Page wasn’t that easy to get rid of.


“Well, if I do say so myself, those flowers aren’t nearly as lovely as the pony who’s planting them. I’d wager...”


Summer groaned in annoyance, and silenced Page by holding his hoof up.


“Look, little pony, you couldn’t even handle me. I’ve gone through Celestia knows how many overconfident little bookworms like you. So, quit bothering me.”


Summer headed inside to speak with the manager, leaving a dumbstruck Page standing outside.


“Oh, he will be mine.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Present time
“Yes, such an auspicious way for us to meet, wasn’t it?


Hovering a flower from the vase of an empty table, he slid it into Summers mane.


“There. You always did look lovely with flowers in your mane.”


Summer almost broke out laughing, causing Page to raise a confused eyebrow.


“What? What did I say?”


Summer picked the flower out of his mane, still suppressing a giggle.


“You are being so cheesy. It’s almost adorable, really. You don’t have to try and smooze me so hard you know.”


Page rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.


“Well, it’s your fault, really. You made me work pretty hard to even get you to give me the time of day.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two weeks after meeting
“You don’t give up easy, do you?”


Standing in front of Summers flower stand, Page was back. He’d been trying to get his attention since their run in at the restaurant.


“No sir, I do not. It’s never taken me more than a week to make a stallion come to me. I see you as a challenge, really. One I intend to conquer.”


Letting out an uninterested sigh, he adjusted  flowerpot to his left.


“You baffle me, Mr. Turner. It amazes me how one can be such a raving manslut, and somehow nopony but his little conquests knows he’s into stallions.”


Page adjusted his glasses, looking rather offended.


“Now see here, I don’t like that term. Just because I appreciate...a...stud. Mmm.”


His focus was drawn to a passing pony...and his wife.


“He’s being wasted on her, I can tell you that right now.”


Summer cast an almost knowing look at him.


“...Alright, maybe I’m a tad bit...promiscuous. But I don’t mean any harm by it. I just happen to enjoy a nice roll in the hay. Or, if I can crack you, a nice roll in the flowerbed.”


Summer gave him a rather annoyed glare.


“Hey, my flowers were not meant for that. Though they may help somepony get to that. Also, I believe you have a customer at your store.”


Turning to see a pony entering ‘Turn The Page’ he lit up


“Well, time to sell some literature.”


Heading for his store, Summer couldn’t help but smile.


“He is a cute one. Maybe he deserves a chance after all...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Present day
“Ha, I knew it. No one can resist me for long. You were already cracking before our little outing.”


Placing their food order with the waiter(And Summer having to give Page a ‘Stop staring at his rump’ kick) they clinked their glasses together.


“Don’t flatter yourself, bookworm. You were actually more annoying than anything for the longest while.”


He took a sip of his wine.


“But, you do grow on a pony after a while. Or you drive them insane. I still remember that lockpick pony chasing after you with that hammer...”


Page shuddered at that memory.


“I’m just glad he gave up after a while. You’d think telling him his girlfriend was ugly wouldn’t make him so...testy.”


Summer shook his head.


“Yes, such a mystery as to why somepony would take that as an insult...”


Their food arrived in rather quick fashion, both looking either to dig in.


“This is some good looking grub.”


Page took a bite of his.


“For how much it’s gonna cost me, it better be good. I mean, I didn’t have to pay anything before we started going out. Now they like to fleece you wherever you go. It’s a scam is what it is. I still remember that day on the hill. Didn’t cost me jack.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Several weeks after the flower stand conversation.
“It’s right up here. And it’s just about time too.”


Page and Summer had been hanging out more as the days went by. And Page was taking him to his favorite spot.


“Here she is. My inspiration hill.”


It was quite a hill indeed. Overlooking the town, and with a perfect view to watch the rapidly setting sun.


“Nice, isn’t it? Whenever I’m in a writing mood, this is where I come. Secluded, and the view is lovely. And today, it’s a little lovelier than usual.”


Summer tried to fight back the red quickly filling his cheeks.


“Well, aren’t you a smooth one. I bet this where you take all the stallions you work over.”


Gazing out at the sunset, Page shook his head.


“No. You’re the first pony I’ve ever brought here with me. I mean...you’re different. You aren’t just some piece of tail I’m trying to bed. I just...genuinely enjoy sharing in your company. I can’t explain it.”


Summer was a little taken aback. No flirting, no innuendo, it was Page being genuinely nice without expecting anything in return.


“Oh...what the heck. You’ve earned it.”


Just as the sun sank out of view, Summer grabbed Page and planted a nice big kiss on him.


“I think I can explain it, bookworm. I think you’re in love.”


Page had to think on that one.


“Love, huh? ...I kind of like it.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Present day
“You really enjoy telling that story, don’t you?”


Finishing off his wine, Summer let out a giggle.


“Well, I enjoy hearing it.”


The rest of dinner seemed to go by rather quickly. The two lovebirds exchanged various other stories as the minutes ticked by. Soon enough, they were exiting the restaurant, the tipsy Summer leaning slightly on Page for support.


“Page...I appreciate the date. Even if you did make me wear this getup, it was real sweet of you.”


The two ponies walked along in relative silence after that, arriving at Page’s house soon enough.


“Well, I’m just glad you’re willing to put up with me, Summer. I don’t think any other pony would dress up in drag for me.”


He gave the soused pony a peck on the cheek.


“Now then, what do you say we get you up to my room, and out of that disguise? I think I owe you a little something for all this.”


The two ponies entered his house, the door shutting and locking behind them
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next morning
“Oh...what time is it?”


Page roused from his slumber, his normally slicked back hair sticking out in all directions, and a snoozing Summer beside him. And something jangling around his hoof.


“Huh? Oh. I swear, I keep telling him to knock it off with the hoofcuffs.”


Sliding out of bed, and doing his best to be quiet, he headed downstairs.


“I need coffee...actually, before that. I’ve got a letter to write.”


Grabbing a nearby quill and parchment, he set to writing.


Hello, mother and father. It’s Page, writing to say hello. I hope you two are enjoying Stalliongrad. And I do hope fathers lectures haven’t been putting you to sleep. Nothing has really changed here around town. Well, a few things have. Namely, I’m seeing somepony.


As he wrote, his sleepy companion shuffled downstairs.


His name is Summer Flower...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The end.